Sunday, September 9, 2007

A lesson left to learn

My mantra: learn it.

I feel blessed right now with where I'm at and what I'm doing--I really do--but part of that blessing is abundance, and part of that abundance is feeling abundantly drained at the moment. I'm coming off the high of a weekend with the boys. They are amazing, and I had an absolutely great time, but I am physically extremely tired and not particularly prepared for this coming week.

Even from the year's start (all one week of it), I'm getting the feeling of being presented with thousands more options for each one I pare down--and I'm working fervently on the paring... to no avail. I have too much that I want to do, and I seem to have a complex when it comes to being busy. I enjoy it, however much I push myself away from it.

This week as a sample:

~Tomorrow: from school to a three-hour class to picking out light fixtures for our cave of a kitchen--the old one blew mid-week and we haven't had the time to replace it, so I've been enjoying the old-fashioned experience of washing dishes in the dark

~Tuesday: school, probably some phone calls and dinner-making, 7:00 Missions meeting or babysitting

~Wednesday: school, CP meeting, QT, 7:00 worship (& decorating of the church or Sunday School copying)

~etc. I have a few free days sometime in the latter half of the week, but I need them to plow through the growing list. My college recommendations are not even to their respective people. How am I not further? I need to find the time to get thigns ready for the first ICONS meeting. Tip of the iceburg. Sunday School. First youth meeting prep. CROP Walk announcements, bulletin inserts, Sunday school resources, parent letters, decorations, recruiting, organizing. On this last, I'm hoping to unload some at the Missions meeting if I'm able to go.

Sometimes I just struggle with finding the balance between passion and sanity. I love these things I'm doing--or else I wouldn't be doing them--but it's hard to know where the balance lies.

So that's my mantra: Balance. Balance. Balance. Balance. Balance. Balance. Balance. Balance. Balance.

This coming from the person who always fell off the balance beam.

Grace & Peace!