Thankful Thoughts 2012

It's good to be home to rest and catch up with family! These days it is also a refreshing breath to step away from Detroit and gain a fresh perspective and heart to engage...

This morning, my mom and I had devotions together up in my room and shared what we are thankful for in this past year...but before I share my list, I want to share a cute moment from yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon, I had only two students left after lunch. I was sitting at my desk finishing up some work when I came over - "Hey, Ms. Martin, guess what I made?" He had made a cross on a peg board. "It's from the church of God," he said, holding up his peg board with a huge smile. I'm thankful for the light in his eyes that reminds me of God's good work not only in and through I's life (he's autistic but that "label" is becoming less and less true of him) but also in each student at our school, and in my own heart.

Here is I's journal from yesterday - "What are you thankful for?" - God blesses me so much through this child's heart to thank God for things I rarely stop to give thanks for. He wrote -

I'm thankful for school. 

I'm thankful for love. 

I'm thankful for numbers. 

I'm thankful for snack. 

I'm thankful for morning line. 

I'm thankful for books. 

A few things I give God thanks for this year - 

- continued health

- opening my heart more and more to a community of love (both to give and receive)

- faithfulness in calling and provision

- working powerfully in our LIFE group, bringing many through word of mouth, including those who don't know Christ but can still find a space to call home and explore more of who God is - for me, what we do is all about them and others who would not otherwise have a faith community

- opening our eyes through connections with other churches in Detroit to see the many ways God is moving in the city

- partnership - every bit of it is a gift

- sisters to keep me accountable and grow together with, mentors who give me a glimpse of what's ahead

- time to spend with family and friends

- a joy where I can invest and daily learn; a job where God is the only one who can be in control

- small wins with the children in my classroom every day

- opening my mind to understand the foundational power and rich gift of the Word and to take in His truth (John 8:32 coming alive in my life this year!)

- Sabbath times

- opportunities to learn

What are you thankful for today? 

Heart of Worship

One of the goals I set out to work toward this year is learning guitar. Granted, I've known for a long time that I have no musical talent. I'm tone deaf and am obtuse when it comes to rhythm (case in point: I can't clap and sing at the same time!). But the desire to learn guitar came less out of a desire to be able to showcase my newfound gift (ha) to anyone else and more out of a desire to come to a deeper understanding of what it means to have a heart of worship.

Eleven months into this "project" I have learned small amounts. At the outset of the year I only knew G but now I can play C, D and Em and can verrrrrrrry slowwwwwly string them together into a halting song. Granted, my practice times have also been few and far between for most of the year.

But tonight I got a small glimpse of God's heart. On about the 100th run through of the bridge (?) of "To Live is Christ" -- Only by the cross I am saved (C-D-Em) -- I was getting frustrated that I still couldn't switch smoothly from one chord to the next, but then God struck me with the thought that He is pleased if it takes me 100 times to wrestle with that truth that only by the cross I am saved rather than playing it smoothly the first time and moving on. I may never be able to play a song through smoothly. I may never be able to pray an hour in my room without falling asleep. I may never be able to go through a day without raising my voice at my students once or fighting the urge to walk out in frustration at broken expectations and the things in life that don't go my way...I may never be able to live a life of worship with a pure heart, but learning to play guitar is a tangible reminder of what it means to commit to even wrestle in worship with God and to fight for His truth to ring true in my heart, whether in one try, a hundred, a thousand, a lifetime...and to live life believing that one day I'll "get it" if only on the day when I stand face to face with Christ.

I'll bring You more than a song 

For a song in itself

Is not what You have required 

You search much deeper within 

Through the ways things appear 

You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship 

And it's all about You 

All about You, Jesus 

I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it 

When it's all about You 

It's all about You Jesus