Attempting Grace: 2011

2012 Resolutions

After this morning's sermon "Jesus first" I took another look and tried to write reasons behind some of these resolutions and how I can draw closer to Jesus in all areas of life. I will come back to post my progress on these resolutions at least once a month. :)

1. Build a solid foundation in God's Word.

memorize 1 verse a week--no longer paraphrasing God's Word but having a firm understanding in prayer and sharing with others
re-read the Old Testament, specifically studying the minor prophets and an overall timeline of historical events during the writing of the OT: following the BRP here

January: Lamentations 3:24, John 12:27-28a, Romans 10:14-15, Galatians 5:16; reading through 1 + 2 Chronicles (studying more in-depth), Genesis (with my Bible as Lit class), Acts & Matthew (church-wide BRP). One thing I have been learning through the stories of David and Solomon is a model of our humble posture before God. For example, as the people give offerings for the temple in 1 Chr 29, David says simply, "But who am I, and what is my people, that we should be able to make this freewill offering? For all things come from you, and all of your own have we given you." There is absolute humility in the offering, knowing the source from which it came. Later Solomon builds the great temple, but recognizes that even this great effort to build the temple was insignificant compared to God's holiness and faithfulness and that this was simply a place to offer to God, worship, and point people to see Him in their lives, rather than a house to contain Him. There is extravagance in the offering--everything overlaid with pure, fine gold, intricate carvings, cloth made of expensive dyes, yet all this extravagance only a response to God's extravagance. I wrote this prayer in my journal in response: Lord, Help me to have this kind of humility, this kind of focus on excellence and extravagance in my studies, my responsibilities, my relationships. Lord, grant that I may be extravagant in faith, in love. I will fail but rather than be discouraged, help me to run back to you and quickly dive in again. The more I fail, the more I learn. The more I fail, the more I depend on you. May I be daily reminded of your grace and faithfulness. Amen.

February: This month, varying degrees of faithfulness to Bible memory, but the verses I'm working on are 2 Timothy 2:21, John 10:10, 1 Corinthians 7:24, Psalm 16:8-9, Proverbs 23:7. On some of the most discouraging days this past month, I'm continuing to learn how to hunger after God's Word, and He has been faithfully meeting me. One of the lessons I learned recently was through Numbers 11, a chapter in which the people beg for meat and the writer provides the somewhat gruesome description that God will provide so abundantly that the quail will literally come out of the people's nostrils (ew!). So God provides the quail, the people feast, and then they die from a plague. I felt like as I was reading, though, God was asking me, "Lizz, what is the end to the things you crave?" If I give you understanding from people, will you still seek it in me? If I give you a premature fruit now, you won't be able to taste the sweetness of the fully mature fruit when it comes in its season.

March: 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, 1 Timothy 4:7-8. One lesson learned is how straight-forward our mission is that I so often make complex and convoluted (Luke 9:1-6):

We are given power and authority (it's not inherent and not ours to boast in).
We are sent to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal (hand-in-hand).
We are commanded to "take nothing," to trust in God alone.
We are told to "enter a house and stay there"--be intentional with every relationship, not scatter brained, thinking that we must be "all things to all people"
We are reminded that there is no failure if the message isn't received. As long as it was shared we can move on with peace.

The disciples followed all this to the T...nothing superfluous, just a simple life of "hear and obey."

April: Mostly focused on trying to refine memory of verses from previous months...A fitting proverb to describe this past month and the coming summer, though: "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

May: Started re-committing to memorizing scripture late in the month. My verse for the first month of June is: "But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, to tell of all your works..." (Ps 73:28) a reminder to place my value fully in my relationship with Christ during this time of transition. I have also begun studying the books of the prophets: Isaiah, Obadiah, Joel, and Jonah so far...particularly for the minor prophets, it has been eye-opening so far to study the history and the messages of each book. For example, it never hit home to me before that Jonah is the only prophetic book in the Old Testament not written for the Israelite people. Rather, his message is for the people in Ninevah (Assyria) and looks ahead to the God's redemption for the nations through Christ.

June: Fell down on my commitment to memorizing scripture again...something I would like to pick up on my commutes to and from work. I've been continuing to read through the prophets, particularly focusing on Hosea this month, such a powerful metaphor of God's pursuing love for us - despite all the other things and people we give our loyalty to - God pursues after our hearts, and when we repent, he sweeps us back into his arms - "I will heal their disloyalty; I will love them freely, for my anger has turned from them. I will be like the dew to Israel; he shall blossom like the lily, he shall strike root like the forests of Lebanon. His shoots shall spread out..." (Hosea 14)

July: After Hosea, dug into Amos, reflecting on the sober reminder that no one is free from God's wrath - even the "chosen people" of Israel. Yet, God's heart is always for the people to humble themselves and return to Him. Every once in a while I go through my memory verses from earlier in the year - a good reminder! - and occasionally I add others to the booklet, but I haven't done well in continuing to fully memorize verses.

August: Studying the book of Acts - constantly challenged by the early believer's constant dependence on the Holy Spirit and boldness to share in the midst of heavy persecution. Their life calling was simple - to share Christ with the world no matter the cost - and everything else (family, future, work, possessions, friendships/partnerships, down to their own lives...) came secondary.

September: I'm thankful for the series we have been going through on Sundays and during our Community Bible studies going through the books of 1 Corinthians and Ephesians. As we dig into these books verse by verse, I'm beginning to understand them on a much deeper level and see the Word come alive. Personally, I have been following the church-wide BRP, reading through the Gospels and Paul's letters. I've fallen away a bit from reading through the prophets in trying to be faithful to digging deeper into the BRP passages as well as what we're studying in our two LIFE Groups but hoping to get back into the prophets soon!

October: Started getting back into memorizing Scripture. I have also been spending a lot of time just reading and meditating on the Psalms in the mornings before work.

November & December: Recommitted to reading the prophets (Micah, Nahum, first part of Jeremiah). Things I learned - Nahum's message is a continuation of Jonah's, prophesying the destruction of Ninevah to Judah (vs. Jonah's message to Ninevah), a message of hope in the midst of a dark period of history to know that everything that seemed to be their enemy's strength would be broken by God to deliver His people. Micah delivers a strong message of God's judgment and uncovering every false foundation (1:6) yet there is also a message of redemption following discipline. 4:10 reminded em that God will discipline but His ultimate heart is for us to be restored to Himself. Sometimes we have to be at our lowest to know our deliverer. I just started re-reading Jeremiah. This has got to be my favorite book of the Bible. I love his raw emotions, all the highs and lows of following God's leading as a prophet. More to come in 2013...

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2. Continue to develop a more active prayer life, training myself to hunger to hear His voice in everything I do.

January: regular times of Sabbath prayer/rest throughout the week, extended One Desire Fast/intercession
February: Trying to model my days in this way:

"At the beginning of my duties, I said to God with a son-like trust, 'My God, since You are with me, and since it is Your will that I should apply my mind to these outward things, I pray that You will give me the grace to remain with You and keep company with You. But so that my work may be better, Lord, work with me; receive my work and possess all my affections.' Finally, during my work, I continued to speak to Him in a familiar way, offering Him my little services, and asking for His grace. At the end of my work, I examined how I had done it, and if I found any good in it, I thanked God. If I noticed errors, I asked His forgiveness for them, and without becoming discouraged, I resolved to change and began anew to remain with God as if I had never strayed. So, by picking myself up after all my falls, and by doing many little acts of faith and love, I came to a state in which it would be as difficult for me not to think of God as it had been difficult to accustom myself to thinking of Him at the beginning." -Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God

March: Learning a heart of gratitude...the only way to get my heart right with God.
April: Learning a constant conversation in the midst of a busy schedule.
May: Learning to spend generous times in prayer, driven by meditation in the Word, during a season with a lot of open time.
June: Learning to hedge in my days with prayer, making the most of the times on the bus to allow God to bring peace to my mind and compel me to pray for my students and members of lg.
July: In late June, began the Operation World 60-day prayer challenge, praying for one country a day. I first started it after reading Radical, I realized that I don't have a heart for "the nations"...more like a few nations, so I started the prayer challenge as a way to become more aware of the needs of the world around us. I fell behind a little toward the end but am working to finish the 60 days and then start the year-long calendar.
August: Beginning every day asking God - what is one thing you want me to focus on today? - and keeping a log of it in my phone. This practice has been helping me focus my days and my heart to look up in all circumstances.
September: Continuing what I began in August, I have also been spending my morning bus commutes digging into reading the Word and prayer.
October: I'm realizing that prayer is more often the cap on what we experience here in Detroit more so than ability or circumstances. I'm realizing that my prayer life and commitment to spend concentrated time set aside personally to intercede leaves much to be lacking! Lord, teach me to pray! A verse that struck me this month as a commitment for the remainder of the year and beyond - "Devote yourselves in prayer, keeping alert in it with thanksgiving!" - Colossians 4:2
November & December - Recommitted to and finished Operation World's 60 Days of Prayer (see note for July). I have begun to notice a lot of overarching themes in each of the nation's requests - praising beauty in the country and in God's children there, to break strongholds that separate the people from God (for example - religious and occult practices, cultural traditions, systematic corruption in government), for the church - to spread the gospel, to raise up strong leaders, for increased training and access to Christian resources, for the next generation, for society - for God to work through the church to bring long-term solutions to issues of poverty, AIDS, education, healthcare, water access, crime, slavery...I have also been reading Dutch Sheet's The Beginner's Guide to Intercessory Prayer. In his chapter on "The Prize of Intercession" he names 6 specific prayers of the intercessor (I found this relevant because I find myself always asking "what are the prayers on God's heart"):

First, we must pray that their spiritual eyes will be opened to truly see and understand the gospel. (Acts 26:18, 2 Corinthians 4:3-4, Romans 10:8-10)

The second thing we must ask for is that all deception be broken off unbelievers. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5, Ephesians 6:19, Colossians 4:2-4, 2 Thessalonians 3:1) - (a) Pray that the belief systems, philosophies or logic of unbelievers that contradict God's Word will be overcome; (b) Pray that the logic of God's Word will become clear and irresistible when shared with them.

Third, that the stronghold of pride in them will be torn down. (2 Corinthians 4:4-5, Isaiah 14:12-15)

Fourth, that all Satan's strategies and schemes will fail. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Fifth, that the Holy Spirit will hover around or envelop the unsaved person with His power and love. (John 3:3-8, Genesis 1:2, Psalm 90:2, Isaiah 66:7-9, Galatians 4:19, 1 Kings 18:41-46, Joel 2:23-29, Acts 2:16-21, John 14:16)

Finally, we must ask for workers - harvesters - to be sent to unbelievers. (Matthew 9:36-38).

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3. Blog at least twice a month (mid-way and end). I journal frequently but there's something to be said about learning to reflect in a way that others can actually understand and possibly learn something from.

January: heheh, will try more for next month :)
February: ditto! It's so easy to go through the whole month forgetting to blog or else having the idea but waiting so long that it's no longer relevant.
March: Finally! I don't know who the posts go to once they're out in blogosphere but I enjoy the opportunity just to reflect more through some of these experiences.
April: Learning to do this with more consistency!
May: One post! I would like to commit to this more fully to record a lot of the early experiences in Detroit, though.
June: *sigh* still need to get the Detroit blog up and running - I have been journaling profusely, though, and uploading pics on Facebook!
July: see June! Goal is to get it up before the fall season starts up...
August: Yikes! Drawing close to my deadline - gotta get it up :)
September: hehe...
October: Yes! However...five months living in the city, I have yet to start a blog focused on Detroit nor blog much about my experiences here. Part of my hesitancy is putting views out there that may or may not be well-perceived especially because my understanding of many things in the city or even ministry here is still very new. However, perhaps I'll make a password-protected blog on tumblr or something similar to keep friends and family members in the loop.
November & December: Yep - maybe a tumblr in the new year!

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4. Learn the basics of playing guitar, continuing to develop a joy and deep satisfaction in both private and corporate worship.

January: Learned G, C, D, E and can very, very slowly play "How Great is Our God." Faithfulness with practicing got less and less as the month progressed, though, and I still struggle a lot with rhythm.
February: Not a ton of progress, but I have been enjoying private times of worship, plucking my way through songs. My rhythm is off and the tunes may not be recognizable to anyone else, but the simple act of playing puts me in a focused meditative spirit that draws me closer to a sincere heart of worship.
March: This month, not so good. I think I played only once or twice. Hoping once the summer comes I will have more time to dig in to practice!
April: With Holy Week, finals, and the last stretch of the semester with IMAX and America Reads, I don't think I touched my poor guitar once :( Hopefully this summer will be more fruitful!
May: Nope :( Tried half-heartedly to tune it but failed!
June: Taking the guitar along for the move, I felt rebuked that I own this beautiful instrument but haven't made any recent attempts to play. A friend tuned it and inspired by their playing, I began trying to play bit by bit again...still struggling to transition smoothly between chords, but maybe there will be a magical shift if I try a bit every day. :)
July: plucking out songs for private worship here and there but still rough transitions
August: see July :)
September: heheh...I need a teacher. lol
October: The only step I took is buying a worship binder -- I know, lame, if I'm not even playing it! Now that I don't have my iphone, it's a little more convenient to have a binder rather than lugging my laptop around.
November & December: Practiced here and there. See post here for some reflections on the process this year!

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5. Learn to play chords on keyboard/piano rather than just pounding out the melody.

February: Spent a little time pounding away one night. Not sure there was much progress but it was fun at least :)
Update: no longer live in a place with a keyboard, so likelihood of learning is slim unless I ask someone for lessons! Focusing primarily on guitar...

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6. Develop proficiency in Japanese and Spanish, specifically learning to share part of the gospel and/or my testimony in both languages.

January-April: Taking a Japanese calligraphy class with Jenny. It has been helpful to have more exposure to and opportunities to practice speaking/writing! Also learning new words here and there with Naoko, a woman studying at MLC :) She reminds me the reason to learn so that the gospel truth can be shared in a relevant, understandable way!

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7. Begin learning Korean. Language has an amazing power to form connections between people.

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8. Exercise regularly! It's hard to make the time when the semester gets going but I always feel so much better afterward, especially after prayer runs that stretch me to persevere both spiritually and physically. Specifically, I would like to train up to running 2-3 miles without stopping to walk.

January: Started off the semester well but stopped during the fast. Hopefully can get back into running in February!
February: I don't think I went to the gym at all...My only exercise was helping with demo at Blight Busters over Spring Break with IMAX.
March: Negative :/ I can feel the lack of exercise and end-of-semester eating patterns effects on my energy level, though. Hoping to get back to at least once a week!
April: First run in months April 24th. It was challenging to get started but hopefully will get easier if I get back into a more consistent schedule. The weather this past week or so is perfect for running!
May: With a more free schedule, I started running more regularly and am gaining some endurance but still only able to run 3/4-1mi without stopping.
June: nope :( I have been walking all over the place, though!
July: see June! Maybe when the heat dies down I'll start running again
August: Nope...Once out of the habit it is easier and easier to make constant excuses not to go - whether weather, sleepy, already showered for the day, busy, the list goes on...While I'm walking quite a bit for work I know I need some other exercise routine during this upcoming year to stay healthy!
September: Ran once in my neighborhood - was really refreshing! I find so many excuses not to go, but hoping I can get in some more runs before the colder weather sets in...might look into getting a membership at the Y for the winter months, but need to look into how close it is to where I live.
October: Only walking around the city :/
November & December: I would like to use as an excuse that I hurt my foot over Thanksgiving and was unable to walk much for the next few weeks...however, I'm pretty sure that excuse is null since I made no moves to exercise more in the weeks before the injury nor after my foot was healed! Better hopes for 2013 :)

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9. Continue working through Life's List as an avenue to continue broadening my experiences, interests, interactions with other communities and cultures (some specifics this year: (a) Traveling abroad with my mom! (postponed) ~~(b) sit in on an engineering class (c) U of M Hockey game (d) Go to something in Hill Auditorium (e) Go fairy door hunting~~)

January: Went to a U of M Hockey game with IMAX, saw Jean perform in Hill Aud :)
March: visited CEE 265 with Mee Sun
January-present: working on #5- learn to play guitar, #50 Study the Bible (specifically the prophets this year) & #77 get to know my sisters on a deeper level
May-present: #78 small-scale! We'll see what the coming year holds :)
November: Fairy door hunting!

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10. Start and finish a book list as an opportunity to learn:

25 Books for 2012

January 1. Real Time Connections by Bob Roberts

December 2. Generous Justice by Tim Keller

(2013) 3. Desiring God by John Piper

February 4. The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence

(2013) 5. The Journals of Jim Elliot

February 6. Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill (with Erica)

(2013) 7. Straight and Narrow by Thomas Schmidt (with Erica)

October 8. The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman

November 9. Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell

(2014) 10. American Grace: How Religion Divides and Unites Us by Robert D. Putnam (a Christmas gift from a year ago!)

October 11. Honour Found by Robert Barriger

12. Finish The Complete Works of C.S. Lewis

13. Book of Mormon: 3 Nephi & Moroni

(2013) 14. The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2010 (edited by Dave Eggars)

May 15. Love Marriage by V.V. Ganeshanathan (a visiting professor at U of M)

December 16. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larson

September 17. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

October 18. Riding the Bus with my Sister by Rachel Simon

(2013) 19. Finish Les Misérables by Victor Hugo

(2013) 20. Dracula by Bram Stoker

(2014) 21. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

(2014) 22. Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie

October 23. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Hadden

24. John Wesley's Works v. 1-sermons

(2013) 25. The Short Stories of F. Scott Fitzgerald

A Few Extras

June 26. Radical by David Platt
July 27. Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge
July 28. Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harrison
July 29. 100 Ideas for Managing Behaviour by Johnnie Young
September 30. To Educate the Human Potential by Maria Montessori
September 31. Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud
September 32. Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
October 33. The Lesson Planning Handbook by Peter Brunn
October 34. A Beautiful Brokenness by Christine Hoover
November 35. 31 Days of Letters: Searching Scripture for How God Loves by Christine Hooever

Attempting Grace

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Looking Ahead to 2012

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

100 things to do before age 60

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